


All It Took Was You.

by exquisitedoren



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Bullying, College, Depression, Drinking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Panic Attacks, Partying, Slow Burn, friends to strangers to lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:26:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26546734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exquisitedoren/pseuds/exquisitedoren
Summary: It's been three years since Taeyong graduated from high school. Three years since he cut off all his ties with everyone he knew in high school, even his best friend. One night came and suddenly the past he's trying to forget comes back all at once just because he saw his best friend, Doyoung.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Taeyong, Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Lee Taeyong
Comments: 13
Kudos: 36





	1. It's been three years, huh?

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Please take note of the tags as it will be mostly seen in every chapter. Thank you!

_“Taeyong okay so someone told me, they wanted to invite me but that means you need to be invited too so they didn’t invite me at all,” a familiar person said._

_The scene changed._

_“What’s there to talk about?” Said one person who’s not even sparing them a glance._

_“I just want to ask why?” Taeyong saw another him crying in front of that person. “Why did you start ignoring us?”_

_Then it changed again._

_“Okay 3,2,1!” The group took a picture and then tears fell. Taeyong looked at this one person who was laughing with the others. The person saw him with teary eyes._

_“I’ll go home now okay?” Taeyong said and the other person nodded before being pulled into a group picture again._

_Suddenly it was just darkness._

_“You’re so annoying.”_

_“What a stuck up.”_

_“You need to take up anger management classes.”_

_“Oh he’s doing that shit again.”_

_It was just voices but it hurt as much as it did before._

_“Taeyong?”_

_“Taeyong…”_

“Taeyong, wake up.”

“Huh? What?” Taeyong slurred. His head is aching as if someone continuously smashed rocks on his head the night before.

“Wake up sleepy head, breakfast is ready,” the person he was with said. Taeyong opened his eyes and slowly sat up. He saw food already set on the table.

“Fuck, my head hurts so much,” Taeyong whined before plopping back on the bed. “How come you never get hangovers Jeong Jaehyun?”

“You just have low tolerance,” teased Jaehyun.

“Shut up, what time is it?” Taeyong asked putting on a shirt that he pulled from around the bed, didn’t know if it was his or Jaehyun’s. “Also why do we always end up in your condo unit?”

“Complaining again? You weren’t complaining last night when I was-“

“Please shut up.”

“Okay your majesty, please get up now and eat. Oh and it’s already 2PM,” Jaehyun teased the poor boy again.

“Fuck me.”

“Again? You weren’t satisfied with last night?”

“Oh my god please just eat and stop talking.” Taeyong sat on the chair beside Jaehyun. Silence took over them and thirty minutes later, they were done eating. Taeyong washed the dishes while Jaehyun cleaned up his room a bit.

“Hey, we’re going to the party later right?” Jaehyun asked.

“Absolutely, Yuta would hunt us down if he doesn’t see us.” Taeyong picked up his clothes that Jaehyun folded. “We’re going at 10PM.”

“Alright.”

Their third year of college just started and the way to celebrate it? Yes, by partying and apparently one night was not enough that their friend Yuta, with other people, rented a bar.

Taeyong might have started drinking and partying just six or eight months ago but no doubt, he loves it. Jaehyun introduced him to it, although he’s been wanting to do it since the start of college.

He met Jaehyun on one of his classes and then they were paired up by their professor for class works that lasted for the whole semester. What started just as partnership for the class turned into a friendship with benefits. They are hooking up sure but nothing’s happening romantically and they were free to see other people.

“I’m going down on my unit now, see you later!” Taeyong exclaimed.

He took a shower when he got in his room then laid down to just relax. He remembers his dream as he puts his phone down. It’s been more than two months since he had that nightmare and it’s been years since it happened but it still haunts him. What does the universe want him to do? He already cut ties with everyone involved, why are they still haunting him in his dreams.

He distracted himself by cleaning his room and rearranging his clothes. Halfway through he felt his headache coming back so he decided to sleep it off hoping he won’t get another nightmare.

The sun was nowhere to be seen when he woke up. He felt like he slept for a whole day with how refreshed he feels. He was hungry but felt too lazy to cook so he called Jaehyun. “Hey have you eaten already?”

“Not yet, why?”

“Let’s eat out then go straight to the bar.”

“Your treat?” Jaehyun joked.

“Sure.”

“Ohh? Okay see you at lobby, 8:30?”

“8:30.” Taeyong confirmed before hanging up the call. He ate some bread to lessen his hunger and took a shower again. Taeyong was known for his fashion style when partying and tonight was no different. It was something simple yet it looked glamorous on him.

He wore some black and gold polo with some jeans partnered with gold jewelry. He did his makeup too and just let his a bit long hair fall to wherever.

By 8:30, Taeyong was at the lobby of their condo waiting for the other boy. He reads a message from Jaehyun that he was waiting for the elevator already.

“Go home together later?” Jaehyun asked when he arrived at the lobby and Taeyong knew what it meant.

“Let’s see.” Taeyong winked at him.

They ate nearby and some people were glancing at Taeyong. It was a common thing at this point, he just stands out naturally.

When they arrived at the bar, it was packed with people already. There were some familiar faces, they probably met in the university or some other bar.

“Ah! Here they are, the life of the party and everyone’s favorite boy, and they are shining!” Yuta greeted the two.

“Are you drunk already?” Taeyong asked their friend.

“I am not!”

“He is,” Johnny, their other friend and Yuta’s partner in crime, answered.

“I am not!” The new arrivals laughed. They got their drinks and Taeyong was immediately asked to gulp down straight from the bottle for ten seconds straight and he agreed.

“Holy fuck, that tasted so fucking bitter,” Taeyong said before getting some sweet drink from the bar. People were greeting him, saying their hellos. He looked around; he didn’t know most people but there are familiar faces all over the place.

One more look around and he somehow sees one very familiar person, but that person wouldn’t go to places like this right? Actually, maybe it’s just his mind messing with him. The dream is messing with him and maybe it’s the drinks.

“Lee Taeyong!!” He was called by his friends who were on the dance floor. He left his drink with Jaehyun who was just sitting at their table talking to strangers.

The Lee Taeyong is finally on the dance floor and everyone has their eyes on him. He danced alone at first then some people went closer, he danced with them. There were also people that he knows who danced with him like Ten who is now kissing him.

“Having fun Tennie?” Taeyong asked as they separate from the kiss.

“Absolutely, hey wanna get off the floor for a while?”

“Sure.” Ten pulled the other off the dance floor by his arm.

“Oh I’m with my friends tonight, can I introduce you to them?”

“Ooh where are they?” Ten lead the way to their table. Taeyong was greeted by the scene of three people cheering for one to drink straight from the bottle like what he did earlier. “Guys guys hey! Do that later! I have someone to introduce.”

The four looked at him and Taeyong’s eyes met with a familiar pair. “Friends this is Taeyong, Taeyong this is Kun, Sicheng, Jungwoo, and Do-”

“Kim Doyoung,” Taeyong finished.

“Yes, Kim Doyoung. Wait, do you know him?” Ten asked confused.

“Sort of…” Taeyong looked down. After the dream last night, he doesn’t want to deal with any of this at all. “We were classmates in high school.”

Doyoung said no word but Taeyong could feel his emotions as they make eye contact again. “I need to go.” I feel sick, Taeyong wanted to continue.

“Wait don’t you want to see Doyoung chug alcohol for the first time?” One of them asked. For the first time? Does this mean Doyoung hasn’t been drinking that much? So he’s still the Doyoung he knew, or a part of him.

“Taeyong!” Jeong Jaehyun is truly a savior, Taeyong thought.

“Well…” Taeyong shrugged. “Doyoung good luck though! I’m going now Tennie.”

“See you around!” Taeyong walked away from the table but looked at them one last time and saw Doyoung grabbed the bottle of alcohol drinking straight without hesitations and his friends cheering for him.

“Jaehyun.” They meet in the middle and he’s pretty sure they are still in Doyoung’s line of sight.

“Well what about later?” Jaehyun handed him his drink from earlier. Taeyong looked back at them, he met eyes with Doyoung then turned back to Jaehyun again.

“Sure babe.” Taeyong kissed the taller boy. “Wait hold this again, I need to go the bathroom.”

“Want me to go with you?”

“No no it’s fine, I can go alone.”

“Alright, I’ll be at the table.”

The bathroom is near where Doyoung’s table was, meaning the boy could see him go in there and follow him but he was feeling really sick like he would throw up any second now. He went in and thankfully there’s no line.

He got in a cubicle and threw up all he’d been drinking all night. When he got out, he went to the sink and washed his face to wake himself up and there he notices Doyoung standing on the sink next to him. They made eye contact through the mirror.

“Taeyong.”

“Doyoung.”

“How are you?” The reunion was much calmer than how Taeyong expected it to go but then it’s Doyoung, the calmer one between them back then. The more forgiving one between them.

“I’m doing fine, you?”

“College is absolutely killing me. I still have three years to go, and you have two left?”

“Actually, I may have three years left too.”

“Why?” Doyoung was confused, he knew Taeyong’s course was only for four years, well his undergraduate course which was Legal Management.

“I shifted courses twice now,” Taeyong said finishing washing his hands. “I might be delayed, I don’t know, I haven’t looked at my new flowchart yet.”

“What? What course are you taking now?” The two stayed in the bathroom which was cleaner than much expected and quiet.

“I’m taking up Mass Communications now,” he answered. Doyoung just nodded but then the mood changed. It was what Taeyong was fearing for.

“Taeyong, can I ask?” Doyoung took a deep breath. “Why?”

“I’m sorry,” were the only words that came out of Taeyong’s mouth. He ran out of the bathroom hoping Doyoung wouldn’t follow him but the other was at his heels. He ran into a crowd, hoping to lose him and he did. He looked back and saw the other boy immediately but Doyoung can’t see him. He feels his heart racing and it feels like he’ll have a panic attack.

He went to his table and saw the person he was looking for, Jaehyun.

“Jaehyun!” Taeyong yelled over the loud music. Jaehyun looked at him and stood up.

“Taeyong, hey, wait are you okay?”

“Can we go home? Please.”

“Hey what happened? Did anyone hurt you? Who is it??” Jaehyun hugged him.

“No no no one hurt me, can we please go home?” Taeyong held onto him.

“Okay, sure, let’s go.” Jaehyun guided him out of the bar and his tears fell when they got in their uber. Jaehyun hugged him all the way back. “Hey bub, we’re here.”

They went up to Jaehyun’s unit. Taeyong sat on the couch while Jaehyun him water. “Drink up.”

He took the glass and drank the water. Jaehyun then got him some clothes to change into and soon the two were cleaned up and they got into Jaehyun’s bed cuddling.

“Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?”

“I’m sorry Jaehyun,” Taeyong apologized tears falling down. “You’re supposed to have fun tonight.”

“Hey don’t apologize. It’s fine and I’m your friend. I’m here for you.”

“Can we talk about it tomorrow?” Thankfully Jaehyun did not say anything about his tears.

“We can talk when you’re comfortable.” Jaehyun pulled him closer. “For now, rest bub.”

Not long after, Taeyong fell asleep to Jaehyun playing with his fingers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ Twitter ](https://twitter.com/exquisitedoren)   
>  [ CC ](https://curiouscat.me/exquisitehyuck)


	2. It's me, Doyoung

Doyoung wonders why he’s in this club right at this moment when he could have been in his dorm watching his favorite TV show. His thinking was broken by Jungwoo yelling his name.

“Doyoung!! Drink up for 5 seconds?” Doyoung shakes his head no.

It’s not his first time drinking some alcohol but it was his first time drinking in a bar like this with his friends.

“Doyoung! Doyoung!” His group of friends starts cheering for him.

Doyoung asks himself why did he let Ten drag him here tonight and the said person was not even with them. He went to the dance floor earlier and the last time he saw his friend was that he was trying to get close to some guy there.

“Fine.” Doyoung glared at Jungwoo then he saw his friends taking out their phones. “No filming me though.”

As per Doyoung’s words, his friends magically followed. No one was filming him, Jungwoo was holding up the bottle already ready to pour it down his throat.

“Guys guys hey! Do that later! I have someone to introduce.” They were interrupted by the one and only Ten. Doyoung took off his eyes from the bottle to the person that was with Ten.

Their eyes met, suddenly it felt like time slowed down. Not the good kind though. It was eyes that he looked at for four years straight, he would never forget this pair of eyes. The person who owns those eyes was his best friend for four years that suddenly disappeared and cut off all their contacts.

“…and Do-”

“Kim Doyoung,” Lee Taeyong finished.

“Yes, Kim Doyoung. Wait, do you know him?” Ten asked confused.

“Sort of…” Taeyong looked down breaking the eye contact. “We were classmates in high school.”

_“Just classmates??”_ Doyoung asked in his head. He did not say anything in response and before Ten could even talk again, Taeyong beat him to it.

“I need to go.”

“Wait don’t you want to see Doyoung chug alcohol for the first time?” Jungwoo asked. He’ll kill this guy later, for now his main concern is Lee Taeyong.

“Taeyong!” Someone called out.

“Well…” Taeyong shrugged. “Doyoung good luck though! I’m going now Tennie.”

“See you around!” Ten said. Doyoung followed Taeyong with his eyes before grabbing the bottle that Jungwoo was holding and drinking it immediately.

It was one of his most horrible decisions in the longest time. The alcohol, of course, tasted so bad and it stayed on his mouth. Thank God for Sicheng’s sweet cocktail.

He looked back at Taeyong and saw that he was talking with the guy who called him and suddenly the two kissed.

“Ten?”

“Yes, Doyoung?”

“Does Taeyong have a boyfriend?” He pointed at the two.

“Jaehyun?” Ten looked at the two. “They’re not boyfriends…Taeyong doesn’t do relationships.”

“What?”

“I’m pretty sure they’re just friends with benefits.”

“Okay how do you know that?” Doyoung asked and Ten raised his eyebrows. “Wait, don’t answer that bluntly.”

“Let’s just say I had a fun time with Taeyong and another with the two.” To say the least Doyoung was surprised.

Was this really the same Taeyong? The Taeyong Doyoung knew was someone who wanted a boyfriend or girlfriend. They even joked about Taeyong wanting to have at least 3 significant others before reaching the age 24.

“Doyoung?” Doyoung was snapped out of his thoughts as Kun placed another shot in front of him. He immediately drank it and got up. 

“I’m just going to the bathroom.” He said to his friends. 

He got in the bathroom and went to the sink. He washed up his face and as he opened his eyes again, he saw Taeyong coming out from one of the stalls. 

They talked about what's currently happening in their lives. When Doyoung finally asked why, Taeyong ran out. 

Doyoung followed him but lost him immediately in the crowd. Doyoung went back to his seat with his friends.

“Hey, are you okay?” Ten asked.

“Can I talk to you about Taeyong tomorrow?” Doyoung did not answer Ten’s question.

“Uhh sure I guess?”

“Get up,” Doyoung heard someone say. He opened his eyes and saw Ten hugging him. He got Ten’s arms off him and tried sitting up Turns out it was Kun who said that and he was saying it to the other two, Sicheng and Jungwoo.

They were in Kun’s condo unit, Doyoung thinks. As he sees the light coming from the sun, he thinks it's maybe around noon already. They got home at 3am but did not sleep immediately as Kun and Ten told them to eat and drink some water before sleeping. Doyoung thinks it helped them not have hangovers, that or Doyoung has a high tolerance.

He got up and went to the bathroom to clean himself up. By the time he got out, everyone was awake already, well, half-awake.

“Had fun last night, Doie?” Ten asked with his eyes still closed, scratching his head.

“Could have been better,” Doyoung replied. They ate in silence, still too tired from the events of last night. Doyoung admits, he might have forgotten what happened at some point that night. He remembers drinking their third bottle of whatever it is and the next thing is them riding a car already.

“So what was with Taeyong last night?” Kun asked after eating. The younger ones aka Jungwoo and Sicheng went back to sleep.

“Uh I was just surprised to see him there, I guess? I haven’t seen him since our high school graduation.”

“Really? How?”

“He must have hated our class so much that he cut off all his contact with everyone.” There was a tone in Doyoung’s voice when he said that but the two men beside him didn’t quite get that.

“He contacted no one at all?”

“No one and he’s really different now. He used to be so timid and quiet before but now…he’s out there partying and sleeping with people- not that anything’s wrong with sleeping with people. It was just so unexpected of him.”

“Reminds me, why did you want me to talk about him?” Ten asked.

“Oh I was just gonna ask how is he,” Doyoung answered. “Wait, how well do you know him? Other than what you told me last night.”

“Basically I saw him like weekly in clubs or parties. He was kinda cool so I started hanging out with him, I haven’t hang out with him outside of clubs though other than hooking up.”

“Do you have his number?” Doyoung asked.

“Yes.”  
  
“Can I have it? I just want to catch up with him.”

“Sure.” Ten got his phone out.

“Now that’s done, why don’t you all go back to your dorms and units?? My place is a mess again,” Kun whined.

“But it’s so comfy here Kunnie,” replied Ten hugging the eldest.

Doyoung finally got Taeyong’s number but he doesn’t know if he should contact him or not.

Taeyong woke up to the smell of food. He turned and turned and moved around more before finally facing Jaehyun.

“Good morning, more like afternoon but whatever, your majesty,” Jaehyun greeted him.

“There's nothing good in the morning. Can I just become a potato please?” Taeyong forced himself up and sat down to eat lunch.

“Eat well Taeyong,” Jaehyun said. They quickly ate in silence and worked together to clean up.

“Just to be sure, yesterday was not a dream right?” Taeyong asked as they lay down on the bed again.

“Uhh by yesterday you mean?” 

“Me crying like a baby?”

“Yes, sorry, that was not a dream,” Jaehyun said pulling up the covers. Taeyong placed his head near Jaehyun’s neck and arms wrapped around the other's waist.

“Do you want to watch some movies?” Jaehyun asked.

“I kinda want to talk about last night? I guess?”

“Are you sure? I promise it’s okay if you’re still not ready. We can just watch something or sleep or have-”

“I’m gonna stop you there Jeong.” Taeyong placed a finger against Jaehyun’s mouth to which Jaehyun just laughed at.

“So once upon a time-” Taeyong started, “okay that was not it.”

Taeyong took a deep breath. “Fuck wait.”

“Hey, it’s okay don’t force yourself.”

“I feel like I can’t tell you everything yet but long story short, I cut off all my contacts with everyone from high school because I so badly want to forget everything about it. I didn’t have the best time during high school.”

“It included my best friend, the only one who’s been there for me, the only one true friend that I had. Then last night came, I saw him and I just felt so guilty. I wasn’t the only who suffered in high school. I left him alone in the dark without telling him anything. I feel so guilty, he doesn’t deserve what I did to him but it just hurts so much. When I looked at him, it felt like the world is crashing down on me again. Everything I tried forgetting just comes back again.”

“Your feelings are valid Taeyong. Take your time to heal, I’ll be here with you.”

One week passed by, nothing peculiar happened. It was already a Friday so that means it’s time to party again but it’s currently lunch so the party is still later.

“Sun and Moon later?” Johnny asked the group.

“Yep,” answered Taeyong as he sits down after getting his food. Sun and Moon was their usual go-to-bar, you’ll find the group there every Friday that’s why the staff are familiar with them already.

“Why is Jaehyun so focused on his laptop?” Yuta asked.

“He’s doing a homework due in his next class.”

“Dude?? It’s only been a week, why are you cramming already?” Johnny asked this time.

“Give him a break, he’s been very busy,” Taeyong answered and Jaehyun glared at him.

“Busy with what?” Johnny asked again but he saw Jaehyun glaring. “Okay, nevermind please don’t answer that. I don’t need to hear it.”

“You’re so dramatic, as if you’ve never-”

“Stop right there.” Johnny cut him off. “Anyway, you saw Ten last time right?”

Taeyong froze for a split second but no one noticed it. “Yes, why? I also met his friends.”

“Oh I met them too and saw a new face. What was his name again? Dong- Do-,”

“It’s Doyoung,” Taeyong finished the name.

“You know him?”

“He was a classmate of mine in high school.” Johnny then looked interested.

“Really? Wait is he into guys? Does he have a girlfriend or boyfriend?”

“I don’t really know, I never really contacted him after graduation.”

“Aw, why?” Taeyong did not answer. Jaehyun noticed it.

“Okay I am done!!” Jaehyun shouted.

“Good for you!” Yuta slapped him on the back.

“You should just ask Ten about Doyoung,” Taeyong finally answered then the topic was dropped.

Johnny asking him about those things made him feel something, he doesn’t know what it is but there was something. He answered truthfully though, it’s been three years, he doesn’t know what Doyoung’s been up to. He doesn’t know if Doyoung’s with someone or even if he’s into guys.

They finished their food and went to a printing shop to have Jaehyun’s homework printed then separated ways to go to their classes. Several hours later, Taeyong was in his condo unit preparing his outfit when he’s phone rang. It was a message.

> **Unknown:**
> 
> _**Hello?** _
> 
> _**Is this Taeyong?** _
> 
> **Taeyong:**
> 
> _**Depends on who's asking** _
> 
> _**Who is this?** _
> 
> **Unknown:**
> 
> _**It's me, Doyoung** _

Taeyong put his phone down. How did Doyoung get his number? Why is he texting him right now? What should he do? His phone lit up again.

> **Unknown:**
> 
> _**Do I have the right number?** _

Taeyong didn’t bother replying. He threw his phone on the bed and changed clothes. An hour passed and they were already in the bar, getting ready to drink.

“Can I forget you? Even just for a night?” Taeyong mumbled under his breath before drinking the shot that was given to him.

Taeyong never had problems with remembering and memorizing. For him, being able to remember everything was a curse. He remembers what had happened in fourth grade where they were just joking around with his classmates but they were sent to the principal’s office.

He remembers embarrassing himself on multiple on occasions in front of his crush that was two years older than him. He remembers when his so-called friends started ignoring him. He remembers how their parents got involved but his didn’t. He remembers how the friendship ended just like that.

He remembers all the words that were said to him. All the words that were directed to him that he wasn’t supposed to hear. He remembers all of it.

That’s why he loved drinking. You don’t forget things when you’re drinking but rather your brain doesn’t retain any memory. It doesn’t register things on what happened and you’re still doing things on your own accord.

Partying and drinking take his mind off everything that has happened to him. When you’re in a place like bars or concert venues, you forget everything that’s happening outside. You are living in that moment without a care in the world.

Taeyong loved drinking, he doesn’t care about what has happened to him when he’s drinking. Even though he loves drinking, alcohol doesn’t love him back. He thinks it’s a great thing though, he forgets about everything faster than usual. He blacks out faster than usual but he’s still good to go.

Still, drinking has its consequences. That’s why Taeyong wakes up with his head pounding again. Miraculously, he ended up in his own condo. He barely remembers anything from last night but Johnny must have brought him here. At least he didn’t hook up with some stranger when he was so out of it.

He looked at his window and the sun is not shining that bright anymore. He looked at his wall clock and saw that it was 3 in the afternoon already. Does he regret last night? Maybe. Was it fun though? Yes. Not remembering shit for a while is a blessing. Would he do that again? Absolutely.

He got up and opened his window to let out some air. He looked down from his window, the road is busy even though it was a Saturday. There were students coming in and out of the campus, that was him two years ago.

He got some food delivered. He scrolled through his phone and social media accounts as he was eating. Thankfully, he didn’t post something embarrassing. Johnny has posted something though and it was Yuta being hugged by someone and he’s hugging back the person. Usually they would pull off Yuta from strangers but this time, someone was hugging Yuta first.

It was wholesome but they were a mess, both were drunk off their asses. He closed the video and a notification popped up.

> **Unknown:**
> 
> **_Hey?_ **
> 
> **_Are you awake now?_ **

Doyoung messaged him again but why? Then it dawned him, he must have drunk texted Doyoung. He closed his eyes and opened the message. He peeked and saw that it was long…

> **Taeyong:**
> 
> **_Doyiong_ **
> 
> **_Doue_ **
> 
> **_Heallo_ **
> 
> **_Areui still arwwake_ **
> 
> **Unknown:**
> 
> **_Taeyong?_ **
> 
> **Taeyong:**
> 
> **_Tshi is TAeyong_ **
> 
> **_Yreue doyoiunf rigdth_ **
> 
> **Unknown:**
> 
> **_Are you drunk?_ **
> 
> **Taeyong:**
> 
> **_How do syoi know_ **
> 
> **Unknown:**
> 
> **_You type like it_ **
> 
> **_Wait are you still out?_ **
> 
> **Taeyong:**
> 
> **_Yes_ **
> 
> **_Doyoung_ **
> 
> **Unknown:**
> 
> **_Yes, why?_ **
> 
> **Taeyong:**
> 
> **_Why did you come back?_ **
> 
> **Unknown:**
> 
> **_What do you mean?_ **
> 
> **_Wait let’s just talk tomorrow_ **
> 
> **_Hey?_ **
> 
> **_Are you awake now?_ **
> 
> ****

He put down his phone on the table and pulled on his hair.

Taeyong fucked up, he admits it. Sober him wanted to forget about Doyoung already but why did drunk him texted the damn boy. Now, sober him, as usual, suffers the consequences. He doesn't know what to do, it would be too rude if he ignores Doyoung because now knows who he is.

He no choice but to reply to him. He responded saying he is awake and he's fine. Not long after, Doyoung replied with 'that's good’.

Doyoung did not reply anything else and he didn't too. He finished his food and distracted himself by cleaning up.

It did not work. All he kept thinking about is Doyoung and his memories from high school.

> **Taeyong:**
> 
> **_Can we meet up?_ **
> 
> **Doyoung:**
> 
> **_Why?_ **
> 
> **Taeyong:**
> 
> **_We both know why._ **
> 
> **_I owe you an explanation._ **
> 
> **_When are you free?_ **
> 
> **Doyoung:**
> 
> **_I’m really busy right now and tomorrow,,,_ **
> 
> **_Maybe next Saturday?_ **
> 
> **Taeyong:**
> 
> **_That's fine for me_ **
> 
> **_I can go there_ **
> 
> **_Near your college or something_ **
> 
> **_You can choose where just tell me_ **
> 
> **Doyoung:**
> 
> **_Okay, I’ll update you_ **
> 
> **_See you next week, Taeyong_ **
> 
> **Taeyong:**
> 
> **See you, Doyoung**

Maybe that was stupid, Taeyong thought but he can't take it back now that’s why he's now thinking of how he can explain it to Doyoung.

_“Oh yeah, I guess I just wanted to fucking escape high school and everything with it, including you. You remind me of everything that happened back then. I want to get away from it. The only thing I could do was to stop talking to everyone, make a new start and go on with a new life here in college.”_ That sounds absolutely horrible and Taeyong doesn't want to do that. He doesn't want to think about it that's why he want up to Jaehyun’s unit.

He knocked on the door and was greeted by a shirtless Jaehyun. He immediately got in, closed the door and wrapped his arms around Jaehyun to kiss him.

They were walking towards the bed while kissing. Jaehyun pulled off as Taeyong is being aggressive. “Slow down, Taeyong, slow down. I also have someone here.”

Taeyong looked at the bed and saw Ten. The said boy smiled. “Hi Taeyongie.”

“You wouldn't mind don't you?” Taeyong asked and Ten shook his head no. Jaehyun grabbed him by the waist and started kissing him again. 

It ended with the three of them cuddling in the bed with Taeyong in the middle.

“So why did you suddenly go here?” Ten asked.

“Just wanted to clear my mind.”

“Wait, I just remembered…Did Doyoung message you or something?”

Taeyong looked at him. “Was it you? Did you give my number to him?”

“Uhhh yes, is that a problem?”

“Sort of but it's fine.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It's fine, although you’ve brought me headache.”

“He did tell me something about you disappearing from your high school friends…”

“So you know…Don't worry Jaehyun knows.” The dozing off Jaehyun is awoken by his name being mentioned.

“What?”

“Nothing, you can sleep,” Taeyong replied.

“That's the only thing Doyoung told me, you stopped contacting everyone from your high school.”

“Oh.”

“I hope you two will be able to catch up though.”

Taeyong wasn't looking forward to seeing Doyoung again. All week he's been distracting himself by studying religiously. He's never done that since high school. You can say that Taeyong is gifted and never really had troubles with studying. When he's putting more effort, it's guaranteed that he’ll be perfect in whatever it is.

It's boring for him. Millions of students would kill just to be great at academics but it's too repetitive for him. The only reason why he's studying is too make his parents proud although he knows they’re not proud of him anymore after shifting courses twice. They can't do anything about it though, he's a scholar. Despite going to bars and parties weekly, he still kept up with his academics that's why he's still a scholar.

As Friday came again, Taeyong tried his best to not go to the bar to be presentable in front of Doyoung tomorrow. His head was safe from a hungover, his body was safe from aching, but his hair was not safe. His blonde hair is now blue, and he even wonders why the fuck he has blue hair dye.

The next morning came. Doyoung texted him some fast food place and time. He was punctual and so was Doyoung. The other boy got earlier and had found them a table already.

“Doyoung?” Doyoung turned around and saw a blue haired boy.

“Taeyong?”

“The one and only.” Taeyong sat down in front of him.

“What food do you want?” Doyoung asked.

“Oh uh wait, I’ll treat you. I’ll go buy, what do you want?” Taeyong asked standing up.

“Just some burger with fries and soda.”

“Got it.” Taeyong walked towards the counter and stood in line.

He really changed, Doyoung thought. Before, he’d be so anxious ordering that he just ends up asking Doyoung to order while he finds a seat for them. Now, he volunteered to order for them and even treat Doyoung. It was strange but not as strange as seeing your best friend three years after he disappeared.

Doyoung tried finding him on social media on their first year of college but stopped by the end of it as he can’t really find Taeyong. It also looked like Taeyong didn’t want to be found.

It hurt, of course. How would you react to a very close friend you had for four years just disappearing after your graduation? Taeyong didn’t even leave him any letter or any message at all. Two weeks after their graduation, Taeyong deleted all his social media accounts.

He knows where Taeyong lived, he passed by his house several times but he never dared to enter.

Doyoung was brought back to the present as Taeyong placed their food on the table. “…and here’s yours.”

“Thanks.” Doyoung took a sip from his drink. “So what have you been up to?”

“Honestly nothing, nothing interesting has happened so far.”

“So you dyeing your hair is not interesting?”

“This is a common occurrence so…”

“Huh so were you able to dye your hair pink?” Doyoung has always known that Taeyong wanted to dye his hair, pink especially.

“Yes. It was actually my first hair color and the bleaching process really hurt.” They continued their small talk as they eat.

“The first time I met Ten was when he was dancing on top of a table at a bar…he was crazy.”

“Oh he’s crazy alright.” They shared their memories with Ten, now their mutual friend, and they also laughed at him.

The laughter died down as they finished their food. The mood changed, it was bound to happen but the way they were talking felt like nothing happened in the past three years. It was as if they never stopped talking and it felt really good.

“I guess it’s time,” Taeyong started and Doyoung just nodded.

Taeyong took a deep breath. “I was really debating on what should I do but I guess I was way too affected by what happened during graduation that I took that as a sign.”

“I’m sorry Doyoung.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ Twitter ](https://twitter.com/exquisitedoren)   
>  [ CC ](https://curiouscat.me/exquisitehyuck)


	3. This is the end again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i finally updated! sorry for the long wait but here it is!

“At first, I thought when I leave everything behind, everything will be okay.” Taeyong sipped his drink. “My first plan was to tell you about it but then the graduation happened.”

Taeyong paused for a moment while Doyoung tried to remember what happened during their graduation. “It sucks that I actually remember everything. My original plan was to tell you after graduation what I was going to do but then I saw you with them. You were having fun with them, you were all smiles, teasing each other and then you saw me.”

“You pulled me in but I wasn’t really feeling it. I felt so out of place in those minutes but you fitted right in. Then you saw my tears before leaving, so you messaged me that night and we fucking exchanged novels of apologies,” Taeyong chuckled thinking of that moment. “That’s when I realized, I was just holding you back. You could’ve had a better high school experience if it weren’t for me. You’ll probably do better without me in college, especially since we’re going to different universities. That’s why I didn’t contact you too.”

“That’s bullshit.” Doyoung said as Taeyong finished. “That wasn’t your call Lee Taeyong. You don’t know how many fucking times I drove by your house, stopping by and stopping myself from ringing the bell just to see you again. We were friends, hell fucking best friends for four years and you just fucking decide to end our friendship in one night?? That’s fucking bullshit.”

“Right?” Taeyong smiled sadly. “I’m a worthless best friend, leaving you in the air with everyone else in just one night.”

Doyoung’s fist was clenched under the table. “You really are.”

“You got your explanations, now can we go on our ways again?” The tone in Taeyong’s voice changed; it went from apologetic to cold.

There was a shift in the air again. Doyoung was here thinking they’ll make up for lost time; thinking he’ll get back his best friend back after three years of no contact. That was not happening and it looks like the opposite is happening.

“So that’s it? This is the end again, Taeyong?”

“How could it end when it hasn’t started again, Doyoung?”

“You’re a fucking asshole.” Doyoung stood up and walked away. He wasn’t the one to walk away but he’s overwhelmed with emotions. He was so angry that it feels like his tears would fall in a matter of seconds.

In the end, Taeyong was the one whose tears fell. He sat there as Doyoung walks away. He watched as the person he’d wanted to hug for so long disappear again.

“I missed you Kim Doyoung.”

“TY what the fuck?” Yuta whined as Taeyong grabs his bottle of alcohol and drinks it empty.

“Thanks for that,” Taeyong said putting the bottle down and regretting what he just did.

“You’re getting me a new one.”

“Get five, hell get fucking ten, I’m gonna pay for it.”

“Now that’s what I’m talking about.” Yuta stood up to order and Taeyong hands him a wad of cash. He sits down on Yuta’s previous seat which is in front of Johnny.

“What’s the occasion?” Johnny asked finishing his own bottle. “Also why weren’t you here yesterday?”

“What happened with your meeting earlier?” Jaehyun asked knowing what the other did.

“Too much questions, tonight we drink to forget every single fucking thing.” That was his last sober words as he proceeds to get smashed with the alcohol that Yuta brought back.

Who knows what time later on, the blue haired boy was on the floor again dancing with random strangers. Taeyong didn’t care who he was dancing with but so far they’ve been respectful of him. More on because there are three pairs of intimidating eyes watching him.

Some minutes later Jaehyun grabs Taeyong away from a stranger he was dancing with.

“Hey are you still okay?” Jaehyun asked boy in front of him. He looks so out of it that maybe he doesn’t recognize the taller boy.

“Perfect but gone now, still perfect!” Taeyong slurred some words. Jaehyun had his hands on Taeyong’s waist to support him up. “I’m 100% okay!!”

“Okay no wait I think I’m not okay, I think I’m seeing things. Is that Doyoung with Ten?” Taeyong pointed at someone behind Jaehyun, causing him to turn back. Lo and behold, Doyooung was there all dressed up.

“He is here,” Jaehyun said. The drunk boy didn’t reply but kept staring on the person he mentioned. Not even a moment later, their eyes met.

“Fuck kiss me,” Taeyong said to hide. He’s the one who took the lead but still failed to hide from Doyoung.

“Okay that’s enough, I’m bringing you home. You had enough.”

“You’re no fun.” Taeyong said as he lets Jaehyun carry him over his back.

“Ten, he’s fucking here. I specifically told you, I don’t want to see him,” Doyoung hissed.

“Wait they’re here?? Johnny told me they’re going to Sun and Moon though…” Ten trailed off looking around to see the quartet. Doyoung poked his face to the direction where Taeyong was.

“What a sight to see!” Ten saw Taeyong being carried. Doyoung sighed, he didn’t want to see Taeyong but he still saw him. He thinks to himself that he should’ve gone home and stayed there where he’s sure he won’t see his former best friend. “But it looks like they’re leaving, so we’re staying here!”

Doyoung ended up not drinking that much, thinking too much about the other. Ten was the one who was drunk as fuck. Their night ended with Doyoung bringing Ten home.

Meanwhile, Taeyong was being a child and giving Jaehyun a hard time taking care of him. He fell asleep soon enough with a tired Jaehyun by his side.

“What happened earlier, Lee Taeyong?” Jaehyun wondered as he finally got Taeyong to sleep. He’s never seen Taeyong so bothered like this, he’s always seen Taeyong as a carefree person, even an actual sunshine sometimes when they are not drinking. He knew that Taeyong knew his limits but lately, he’s ignoring his limits and goes all the way. Thank goodness there’s three of them that can alternately take care of the said passed out boy.

Another thing about drinking is either you get a very vivid dream or nothing at all, that is another reason why Taeyong loves drinking. Most of the time he doesn’t get a dream but if he does, it’s one hell of a dream.

Majority of his dreams were not flashbacks but just mere what-ifs he started imagining. He does have dreams about his past but it’s not usually that bad as he forgets some of them when he wakes up.

That night’s dream was a hell of a dream.

_“Doyoung?” Taeyong was back in the fast food chain where he met up with the said person._

_“Why did you do it Taeyong? It fucking hurts, I drove by to your house wanting to ask you personally what the hell you were doing.”_

_“I’m sorry Doyoung.”_

_“What can I even do? We can’t go back in time, there’s nothing you can do Lee Taeyong.”_

_“I’m sorry, really sorry.” And then it went black._

Taeyong woke up to an empty room, his empty room. He guessed that his friends are tired of taking care of him so much these days that they just leave him in his unit after passing out in the bar. He’s truly thankful for his friends but he hates himself so much.

He’s becoming so dependent these days and he doesn’t like the feeling of it. At the same time, drinking was his only way to let go and forget everything even just for a night so he can’t help himself but just drink ‘till he passes out.

This realization leads to a horrible decision. He can drink and pass out but still stay safe by drinking in the comfort of his small room. Several hours later, he goes out solely for the purpose of buying alcohol for his plan.

He goes back to his quiet room with several bags of different drinks. He sits down on the floor by the bed and opens a beer.

Alone with his thoughts, a beer, and lack of better judgment, he opens his laptop and opens a chat from five years ago. That was when all shit began, he admits he was at fault too but what they did hurt him.

His memory is as clear as today’s weather, the sky was bright with no clouds present. It was the last month of the school year in 10th grade when his friends started ignoring him and Doyoung. At first, they thought nothing of it, then came the second week where they were sure that they were being ignored. Doyoung was the one who wanted answers, Taeyong thought if they don’t want to be friends with him then it’s fine.

Doyoung got his answers, he told Taeyong the reasons. Then came the confrontations and accusations, eventually it ended as classes ended. The next school year came and the two of them made new friends.

However, that school year ended with one of their friends moving to another country. That brought their other classmates to become close with their friend group. At this point, Taeyong didn’t like it anymore but Doyoung didn’t mind.

12th grade was unexpectedly bad. Even though he was friendly with them, getting along with them, they actually didn’t like him that much. Doyoung was the one who found out and told him about it. They wanted to invite Doyoung to an event but that meant they would need to invite him too.

He just wanted to graduate and forget everyone. He graduated and then disappeared. He didn’t look back to see what his classmates thought of it, he didn’t care anymore. Still, it feels like he’s stuck in the past and he’s not moving forward.

Everything is still haunting him and he can’t forget a single thing. He can’t trust anyone that easily anymore that the first friends he made in college is not talking to him anymore too. He hasn’t grown out of his comfort zone so he didn’t have that much friends.

Eventually he met Jaehyun and introduced him to this kind of life, which is very far from his comfort zone but he loved it, and started enjoying it. Because it made him forget.

He didn’t have to trust anyone, they were just random people he was acquainted for the night. But because he was in the bars almost every single day, people became familiar with him that and now he has an image. He was the life of the party and he enjoyed it. He basked in the attention that these strangers are giving him.

Along the way, Jaehyun, Johnny, and Yuta stuck with him and he was okay with that. He didn’t want to get too attached to them though so he didn’t open himself up to them too much. As he was closest to Jaehyun, he tells him bits of his past just like that one time.

And right now, Jaehyun is the person he trusts the most and he hopes that they’ll stay friends with for a long time.

He was on his second bottle when he heard the bell of his unit ring. He got up from his position on the floor to open it and there stood the three idiots. “What are you three doing here?”

“What are you doing here?” Yuta emphasized on the word ‘you’ as they know Taeyong loves going out on Sundays. “And why are you drinking alone? You wound me, Taeyong.”

Taeyong smiled at him, Yuta was teasing and he knows it.

“Just wasn’t feeling it…”

“The Lee Taeyong isn’t up for a party??” Johnny jokingly questioned. The three of them made themselves comfortable sitting on the couch, bed, and carpet. “I’m kidding it’s chill.”

“So what movie are we watching?” Jaehyun asked as he opens Taeyong’s laptop and connects it to the television.

“I can’t kick the three of you, can I?” He sighed opening some beers he bought and giving it to them. The three shook their heads no and thanked him. Taeyong comes close to the laptop to search a movie on Netflix.

Maybe they aren’t tired of him, Taeyong thought. Maybe he needs to trust them more and let them in his life. These three are sticking with him even though he’s not the Taeyong of the parties, the Taeyong that’s up for every shit happening in bars, the Taeyong that they nicknamed ‘Life of the Party’.

That night went better than he originally thought it would go. They watched movies in peace and Jaehyun didn’t question anything about what happened to him yesterday. He was already feeling better with just the presence of the three in his room and he was surprised with as he realized.

Maybe it was finally time to actually let go of the past and move on from the hurtful memories that is still implanted in his mind. Maybe it was finally time to create new happy memories with people that are there for him.

Days fly by quite peacefully because they were very much focused on their academics. Taeyong took his studies seriously and that’s why he still has a scholarship even though he shifted courses twice already.

His current subjects are easy for him even though most of it are majors already. He needs to prioritize his studies as he’ll be starting his internship next semester. Taeyong thinks it will still be a piece of cake.

During lunch, the four of them meet up to eat and Taeyong always sees Yuta first as the latter’s classes are mostly after lunch.

Taeyong met Yuta in one of the parties that Yuta hosted and Jaehyun was the one who introduced them to each other. They were quite the opposites at first; Yuta was this wild spirit who looked like he gave no fucks while Taeyong was timid and didn’t approach anyone first. They both grew close though, Taeyong loved Yuta’s personality, he wanted to be as carefree as the younger and he did.

“Where’s Jaehyun?” Yuta asked the blue haired boy walking towards him.

“Don’t know, we don’t have anymore classes together Yu.”

“Oh yeah, I keep forgetting that. Take a seat?” Yuta offered the seat beside him but Taeyong shakes his head no.

“Thanks but I’ve been seating for like 4 hours straight now, I need to stretch out,” Taeyong answered. They were currently near one of the gates of their university and it has several benches around. More students come and go as classes end and new one begins.

“It honestly sucks that like almost all my subjects are in the afternoon then I have one in the morning.”

“Being able to choose our class schedule is really a privilege for those who enroll earlier.” Taeyong said.

“Good thing I’m a dean’s lister last term then, I can enroll earlier than others next term.”

“It sucks that we only have two classes together Nakamoto,” Johnny interrupts them.

“It really does,” Yuta whined, “and I absolutely hate it.”

Yuta and Johnny are best friends and both are marketing students. That’s how they met actually, they were classmates in their freshman year. Taeyong met Johnny the same night he met Yuta and they hit it off pretty well too.

Johnny was the voice of reason between him and Yuta. Most of the time, Johnny was the one who take cares of the three of them but of course there were times when Johnny is the one that needs to be taken care of.

“What’s taking Jaehyun so long?” Taeyong whined as he stays standing while Johnny takes the seat beside Yuta. The trio waited at least five more minutes for Jaehyun to arrive.

Jeong Jaehyun is a business management student and Taeyong met him on one of their classes together as he used to be a business management student too.

Jaehyun was the one who approached him and asked to be his partner on their final project. Taeyong agreed and soon enough they became friends and that led Jaehyun to introducing him to parties and drinking.

As opposed to his actions, Jaehyun is actually a responsible student. He takes care of Taeyong when he decides that nothing matters other than getting drunk. You could also say that Jaehyun is the most responsible out of all of them.

“Hey, I heard they’re suspending the classes this afternoon,” Jaehyun greeted.

Taeyong woke up at that. “Really??”

“But why though?” Johnny asked.

“Who cares about the reason?! I don’t have anymore classes!!” Yuta exclaimed.

“I don’t know why too but yeah I think classes will be suspended.”

“It’s already suspended.” Yuta grinned holding his phone up with an announcement from the university. “Now, who’s up to party??”

“Pass!”

“No thanks.”

“I still need to do like 3 or 4 school requirements.” The three of them answered with a variations of ‘no’.

“Boo you whores,” Yuta grumbled.

“What about we just stay and drink in Jaehyun’s condo?” Taeyong suggested.

“Why mine??”

“I’m down!” Yuta agreed.

“That’s sounds good.”

“But let’s eat lunch first!!” Taeyong exclaimed.

“Okay but why my unit?” Jaehyun asked a second time.

“Because your room is spacious as hell,” Johnny answered standing up, Yuta following him. Jaehyun sighed in response knowing he can’t convince them to just go in Taeyong’s room.

Couple of alcohol and hours later, faint sound of music was all you could hear in Jaehyun's unit. The room owner was busy doing his school requirements while the rest were asleep.

A few minutes later Taeyong woke up. "Good evening to you."

“What time is it?” Taeyong yawned.

“11PM.”

“And you’re still doing homework??”

“Well I’m sorry not every one of us are geniuses.”

“Sorry.”

“I was just joking Yongie,” Jaehyun looked at him. “How are you feeling?”

“Better than these previous days. I really appreciate the three of you.” Taeyong gave a genuine smile, a smile that Jaehyun doesn’t see much.

“That’s good.” Jaehyun didn’t say anything anymore and went back on what he was doing. Taeyong, on the other hand, got up and went towards the balcony. The road was not that busy but there were still people walking here and there. There are always people walking and that’s what entertains Taeyong when he cannot sleep.

“Sometimes it’s crazy to think that all these people have different life stories, it may not matter to us but it matters to them and the ones who love them. It came to a point that I think my life story would not matter to anyone, not even my parents. What happened to me years ago really broke me. And then you came, not really a person that I was expecting in my life. You help me turn my life upside down, yes you’re not getting all the credits Jaehyun,” Taeyong laughed. “Then I met those two, Yuta and Johnny, you know I still don’t trust them to a hundred percent. Hell, I don’t even trust you a hundred percent.”

He looked up at the starry sky, a common occurrence for him. “But then, I keep hurting myself, I’m hurting myself by being stuck in the past. I can’t seem to move on even though I already fucking left everything behind. You know what I keep wishing to happen? I wish that I don’t remember things so vividly. The thing is it’s happening but it’s not the way I wanted to, I still remember everything from back then but I don’t remember much from this year except getting black out drunk. I hated remembering so much that I kept drinking just so I won’t have to recall memories.”

“Taeyong…”

“Crazy right? But I think I’m done, I’m done living in the past. From now on, I’ll make new memories with you, Johnny, and Yuta. I’ll bury the memories from the past with new good ones. I’ll start, start trusting people and start letting them in my life from now on.” Taeyong held on to the balcony and looked down. “I’m just gonna have to trust the three of you.”

“You don’t have to worry Lee Taeyong, we’re not going anywhere,” Yuta responded and had Taeyong looked back. Yuta and Johnny were awake but did not bother to interrupt the boy on the balcony.

Johnny stood up and walked towards him. “Whatever it is you’re going through, we’re here for you Taeyong. We’re your friends, remember that.”

Johnny wrapped his arms around Taeyong, the latter giving back a tight hug as he melts under the taller. Johnny has always been the softest among the four of them and Taeyong absolutely loved it. Then he felt it, two more pairs of arms joining the hug, he felt like crying.

It finally felt like he was with the right people but somehow, there was still this hollow feeling, like someone is missing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ Twitter ](https://twitter.com/exquisitedoren)   
>  [ CC ](https://curiouscat.me/exquisitehyuck)


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